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When
Bill Wilson's longtime drinking companion, Ebby Thatcher, appeared in Bill's
kitchen, it forged the first link in a wonderful chain of what we now refer to
as 12-Step calls. It was the first
time in human history we are aware of that a solution for alcoholism was passed
from one alcoholic to another. This
was incredibly good news. In Bill's
own words: "He had come to
pass his experience along to me – if I cared to have it. I was shocked, but interested.
Certainly I was interested. I
had to be, for I was hopeless." Later,
while Bill was still in his hospital bed recovering from alcohol withdrawal, he
remembered some of Ebby's words: "My
friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these [spiritual]
principles in all my affairs. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had
worked with me. ... For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his
spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not
survive the certain trials and low spots ahead."
Here, on page 14 of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, we find the first of
what will be many references to the fact that working with others is NOT
a recovery option. Flush
with his 'religious conversion' experience in the hospital, Bill set out to
fulfill Ebby's edict. His attempts
to 'convert' other alcoholics succeeded only in keeping himself sober.
Bill failed completely with his first 64 prospects.
Bill shared his discouragement with Dr. Silkworth and was told that
unless he first discussed the PROBLEM in depth, the alcoholic was not likely to
buy in to the SOLUTION. Bill had
forgotten that Dr. Silkworth had first told him his “theory” – the disease
concept of alcoholism – prior to Ebby outlining the solution and program of
action. He had failed to “pass
on” the exact nature of the malady. Once
that piece of the puzzle was in place, his efforts no longer fell on deaf ears.
Our book refers to that as: "properly armed with the facts about
himself". It is interesting to
note that in the original manuscript the passage reads: "…certain medical
information." When
Bill reached out to Dr. Bob Smith unsolicited, it created a profound effect.
In Dr. Bob's own words: "He gave me information about the subject of
alcoholism which was undoubtedly helpful. Of
far more importance was the fact that he was the first living human with whom I
had ever talked, who knew what he was talking about in regard to alcoholism from
actual experience." The fire
that was lit in Dr. Bob was to be carried directly to over 5,000 alcoholics
through the use of the 12-Step call. Some
came from requests and others were unannounced visits.
Indeed, out of the 43 personal stories in the Big Book, 27 of them began
their sober adventure as a direct result of an unsolicited 12-Step call.
Chapter
7, first paragraph: "Practical
experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as
intensive work with other alcoholics. It
works when other activities fail. This
is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this
message TO other alcoholics! You
can help when no one else can. You
can secure their confidence when others fail.
Remember they are very ill". Over
the years, as AA has moved from a program-based spiritual entity, to a
fellowship-based social entity, the fabric of this step has been frayed. Meetings,
meetings and more meetings are pushed as THE ticket to recovery, while the
action of the 12 Steps, particularly working with others has been pushed into
the background. As a result, the
powerful spiritual enthusiasm which is a by-product of 12-Step work,
particularly the 12-Step call itself, seems difficult to experience.
How many of us at one time or another have asked the secret question,
"Is this all there is?" How
many of us have felt that we were getting short changed in our recovery?
How many of us have dared to wonder if the experience of the first 100
wasn't indeed closed off to us? That
the phrase, "…we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence
of which we had not even dreamed" were just words on a page?
We believe that these are common concerns among many of us.
Placing spiritual enthusiasm aside, just the relative percentage of
permanent recoveries we experience today versus 30 or 40 years ago is alarming
enough. The
commonly heard reasons for these realities sound like the rationalizations and
justifications of the untreated alcoholic.
Finger pointing to the external. It's
because of the court slips, the treatment centers, the young people, the drugs,
etc. ad-nauseum. In daring to
follow the same directions in our group inventories as we do with our individual
inventories, we believe the answer may lie with having dropped the ball when it
comes to our primary purpose: Carrying the message TO the alcoholic. As
we travel around, we find there is a fresh new hunger alive and growing in
Alcoholics Anonymous. "Surely
you will meet some of us," is a promise that's coming true.
The joy and spiritual power many of us have felt in sharing this gift
with others is contagious. "But
why shouldn't we laugh? We have
recoverED, and been given the power to help others. We find there are just as many, if not more, opportunities
for 12-Step calls as ever before. When
placed in front of an alcoholic, who is alone and terrified, we get the strong
sense that we are privileged to be at the right place at the right time doing
the right thing. The illusion that
we are somehow separate from our fellows is smashed. The realization that this new power we have been given can be
used to help heal others comes strongly. The
experience of working with suffering alcoholics draws us nearer to that profound
sense of gratitude and helps provide us with a wonderful opportunity to honor
that power which has restored us to sanity.
We become active
co-creators in our own spiritual experience. Before
we go out on a call, many of us pause to say thanks in prayer and to ask that
our motives be grounded in selflessness. In
addition, many of us take a few minutes to re-read Chapter 7 “Working
With Others.” There are
many great directions in this chapter coming from the experience of the first
100. In the ensuing decades, there have been 2 major shifts that
were not realities when the Big Book was written.
Roughly 90% of all 12-Step calls today are made to people who have been
to AA previously and roughly 80% to people who are dually addicted.
The dual addiction aspect can be easily surmounted with more information
on drug as well as alcohol withdrawal. The
detoxification process may be a little more complicated, that's all.
However, the call to the person who has already been to AA provides us
with a greater challenge. Virtually
all the information concerning 12-Step calls found in our basic text assumes
that the person we are seeing has never heard of AA before. It was written from the point of view that we are to be
delivering new information. The
prospect was immediately excited that there may be a way out he had never heard
of before. The question now is,
what do we say to the man who has already heard the usual identification pitch?
For whom establishing rapport is not enough? From
one of our members: Several
months ago, I knocked on a motel door at 3 am.
A shaken man fearfully asked me inside.
I reached out my hand and introduced myself as a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous. "Yeah I know,"
he said. "I tried it before
and it didn't work." After
pouring the wine down the sink and getting on our knees, we began to talk. One
alcoholic to ANother. This man had
been sober before. "Sobriety
wasn't enough," he said. I
agreed and we began to talk about RECOVERY.
We talked about alcoholism as a disease and that while we had once used
alcohol as a treatment, our physical, emotional and spiritual decay rendered
drinking no longer effective. We
agreed that, based on sad experience, "putting the plug in the jug"
hardly sufficed for a real alcoholic. "Frothy
emotional appeal seldom suffices." I
related some of my own experience and that I had felt no sense of power
until I had surrendered to the spiritual action inherent in the process.
He related that he had attended meetings regularly and stayed sober but
never felt happy or free and eventually returned to drink.
This scenario is all too common. The
phrase, Alcoholics Anonymous" is the title of a textbook.
It is not endless meetings. When
we greet a man with "Hey, I'll take you to a meeting," are we not
sending the wrong message? Especially
to a man who could not stay sober on fellowship support in the past?
Perhaps we should try to find out what he did NOT try and focus on that
instead. When
the new man says, "I've tried AA and it doesn't work", what do we tell
him? When he says, "I've been
sober before and it wasn't enough," how shall we respond?
We believe we must try to open the window of distinction between
sobriety and recovery. The "something new" for him will be the inner
feeling of peace he receives by doing the steps.
The peace he never found by 'plug in the jug' and 'lots of meetings'
instructions from the past. Alcohol
is the symptom for our disease called alcoholism.
Let's give the new man some fresh hope to chew on.
And, let's try to insure that when we do take him to meet the members of
our Home Group, he will find a safe haven from the wars that he has survived. From
Dr. Bob's Nightmare: "I
spend a great deal of time passing on what I learned to others who want and need
it badly. I do it for four reasons: 1.
Sense of duty. 2.
It is a pleasure. 3.
Because in so doing I am paying my debt to the man who took time to pass
it on to me. 4.
Because every time I do it I take out a little more insurance for myself
against a possible slip. From
page 129: "It is well to let
him go as far as he likes in helping other alcoholics. During those first days of convalescence, this will do more
to insure his sobriety than anything else."
Perhaps the greatest sense of joy of all is to be out on a 12-Step call
with someone who is new to the program himself. To be there to witness such power in action is nothing short
of a miraculous hair-raising opportunity. Don't
miss it! Every
Step in our wonderful 12-Step process points directly to Step 12. The whole
purpose of the previous 11 is to arrive at the threshold of Step 12.
We are delivered to recovery so that we may share our experience with
others. There are 147 promises in
the Big Book. We have been
given so much. The greatest gift of
all is that we have been placed in a position of usefulness to others.
We invite you to help us celebrate this gift! From
page 102: “Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum
helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful.
You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an
errand. Keep on the firing line of
life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed." TRUST
THE PROCESS We
often hear that this is a journey rather than a destination. We
each must begin our own journey from exactly
where we are by taking a single step. Your
journey will be yours and yours alone. It will not be the same as any other’s journey and it
should not be since we are different people with different experiences.
You should never be discouraged or ashamed because your journey is
different in any way from another's journey.
What someone else experiences or feels or finds or stumbles over on their
journey should not make any difference to your journey.
Your journey is unique to you and will take you exactly
where you are supposed to go at exactly
the right time. What matters is
that your journey has begun. Cherish
it, always. EXPERIENCE THE JOURNEY
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