|
|
|
From
Step work to this point and “ feedback” from Step 5, we can create a list of
our more conspicuous defects or shortcomings.
These are but human personality characteristics that often get very
pronounced as the malady of alcoholism takes its course.
We wholeheartedly agree that these items may be the root cause of most
human suffering, but disagree with any notion that these are a causal factor in
our illness. However,
if we are going to live “beyond the pale” by adapting ourselves to a
Spiritual Way of Life that embraces a FOURTH dimension of existence, with a
VITAL 6th sense, we must move forward beyond what would be considered
“normal” ways of thinking, acting and living.
Dr. Silkworth states: “... their ideals must be grounded in a power
greater than themselves, if they are to re-create their lives.” This point is stressed by Dr. Carl Jung: “Ideas, emotions
and attitudes which were once the guiding forces ... are cast aside, and a
completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them.” The
themes of the book are recoverED and permanent recovery.
To this end, in Appendix II, we find: “... this book which, upon
careful reading shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery
from alcoholism ...” We
think, act, re-act, and do things for the satisfaction of desires, or the
alleviation of suffering - for EFFECT. For
this “phase of our development” is very difficult, often impossible, to
“create” the life-or-death
willingness and desperation to be released from our manifest defects such as
shyness, the tendency to manipulate, or outright lying that we had “forced
upon us” to park the whiskey bottle. In
short, we must have God’s help. Having
a list of terms meaningful to us and asking for God to enter our lives, our
thinking, and our hearts for willingness is Step
Six. And
we must do our part in the “work.” First,
we need to truly “OWN” these aspects of ourselves and search diligently for
the “payoff.” They ARE us.
And each and every item on our list will be a “tool” to help us get
what we want, have things our way, avoid fear, or justify our thinking and
actions. When we can “see”
this aspect of ourselves in this manner, there will be a far greater
degree of willingness. That
conclusion, which usually is the result of frank sharing with one’s sponsor,
coupled with prayer and meditation can move us forward on the “path of
willingness.” When
we look at most of the published “lists” for daily inventory, we see a
column of “defect” words on one side and a column of their “opposites”
on the other. Again, in frank discussion and prayer, it will be
“revealed” sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, that in nearly all cases,
the OPPOSITES will give us the same EFFECT! When we are willing to explore this avenue of recovery and do our part, we are ready for the 7th Step Prayer. We DO this out loud, on our knees, with another member of AA - preferably our sponsor.
The
“Poker Chip” Method of Step 7 We DO NOT “work on our defects.” PERIOD!
Steps 6 & 7 state in terms that simply cannot be misconstrued, WHO is
going to remove them - GOD. Our
role in these Steps is the “entirely ready” and the “humbly asked”
parts. This
is the “poker chip” method. We
take poker chips, blank business cards, or pieces of paper and write the
“defect” on one side and the “opposite” on the other. We put them all in
a paper bag or box. We pray that
God help us, Guide us, and Direct us in our
work. For
the purposes of “analysis” we have been separating ourselves into
compartments, pigeon holes, shoeboxes; dividing the mind and who we are for the
purpose of our work. Truth is,
we are a “package deal” not divisible, and you can find out for
yourself as follows: We
ask God’s help and dip our hand into the bag.
Taking one chip, card or piece of paper out, that becomes our “focus”
for the day (or week). Trying to
work on 8, 15, or 27 items at once leads to confusion, frustration and we soon
give up. Akin to ONE-DAY-AT-A-TIME
(or try ONE-ROOM-AT-A-TIME) we “work” on trying to BE the OPPOSITE,
ONE-ITEM-AT-A-TIME. It
is only through experience that we begin to understand, however vaguely at
first, how incredibly powerful this is. If
a man has three “big ones;” lust, petty thievery and a severe case of
phoniness, and exerts his efforts at the “chip” thievery/BUY it with
sincerity - in a remarkably short time, he will discover, often to his
AMAZEMENT, that his lust has
simmered down and his phoniness is diminished. Many
of us have spent fruitless years of effort trying to think our way into right
action. It doesn’t work.
But the concept of acting our way into right thinking has a proven
track record. It is formally
called “learning by substitution,” and here is a chance, an opportunity to
exert what efforts we can to progress along the Path to conscious Union with God
and our Fellow Travelers.
STEP 7 Step
7, in our experience, is perhaps the Step most underused.
All through the Process of the Steps we find powerful opportunities to
grow. The continuing application of
Step 7 helps produce just such an opportunity.
In fact, with an open-mindedness firmly in place, there seems to be NO
LIMIT to the spiritual changes we can experience.
We are now beginning to prove that Step 3 was not an intellectual
exercise. We are now beginning to feel the transition from an
"unsuspected inner resource" to a known
inner resource. "Lack of
power, that WAS our dilemma." The
development of Step 7 in our lives affords us a wonderful and simple format to
help us realize that we really DO have access to a Power greater than ourselves.
That we no longer suffer from a lack of power. In
our journey we have found several blocks to a full experience of this step.
One of which has to do with the stigma attached to the words 'defects'
and 'shortcomings'. As long as we
continue to judge ourselves harshly for having these characteristics, we tend to
produce a powerful negative energy which blocks the process of letting go.
Once again, we are not allowing God to do for us what we could not do for
ourselves. This is NOT about sin.
This is NOT about fulfilling the requirements of an external moral code.
This is about being sincere in prayer (or however your heart stays open)
to have those things removed which "stand in the way of my usefulness to
you and my fellows." The
commitment to become what we could not even imagine is all that's required.
CHANGE = SURRENDER PLUS ACTION. Sometimes
it's fun and helpful to create a ceremony to help the surrender process. In the
spirit of daring to share, here is one we have used effectively.
Having written a list of fears that have been blocking us, we gather a
few people around us and meditate. We
allow the energy inside of us to move freely.
Letting go of all resistance with our breathing, we are given an
ever-increasing consciousness of the sacred place in our heart.
When "entirely ready", we begin to read the fears out loud to
our friends. Slowly.
After each one is read aloud, we pause and feel what we feel without
anticipating the result. If there
is no fear inside we simply check that one off the list and go on to the next
one. If however, after voicing it
out loud, we still feel the fear, we leave it on the list. No judgment.
Remember: the results are
none of our business. The next day,
after meditating, and in front of our friends, we read the ones that are still
left on the list. In doing
this every day for a week or two, we have found that most, if not all of our
fears are taken from us. The
spiritual life is NOT a theory. It
works - it really does! We have many other ceremonies that we have used, some of which are quite fun and elaborate. We allow ourselves the freedom to borrow from any spiritual practices we encounter and to create our own! We would love to share them with you and to hear of Step 7 surrender techniques that you have experienced. The main thing is to dare to believe differently, grab something that seems interesting and have fun in learning to let go of the resistance to change. Remember: the Steps are here to HELP us!!!!
|
